The Breast Blog: How To Become Your Own Breast Health Ambassador: Chapter Three / Permission

Who gives you permission to think the thoughts you think, go the places you go and do the things you do? Another words who's in charge of you right now?

If you answer ' you are', congratulations. You are in the minority of people. Please do what you want.

More likely, you allow yourself to be controlled by what other people think or perhaps what you think they think. Which is a losing game to play, given how easy it is to misinterpret what other people say, let alone think.

My friend Beth and I used to spend hours trying to figure out what our boyfriends at the time were doing/thinking by dissecting their every word and motion. We'd come up with an elaborate story, usually negative in intent, and decide it was true. Of course, we were always wrong. Our men were good guys. We simply didn't understand them.

And notice I said, "you allow yourself" to be controlled. Other people cannot make you feel. Feeling anything....anger, hurt, sadness, love is all about you and your reaction to a situation or someone else's behaviour. " You made me angry" and "I am angry because of your behaviour" are two very different ways of being in the world. The first indicates that someone else is in charge of you. The second shows personal responsibility.

Perhaps you spend all your energy trying to fit the box....provided by mainstream culture....and designed to encourage you to shop, shop and when you're tired of that, shop some more. You feel empty. Cramped. Bored out of your tree. But what else is there besides malls and big box stores?

Listen up girlfriends. The box being issued is very small and poor for your health. The world outside is soooo verrrry muccchhhh more. And it needs you.

Giving yourself permission to live your life takes guts. You loose the option to blame someone else for your mistakes. You drop the myth of security. And you gain the freedom to live YOUR life instead of someone else's.

Today's Playback

I'm reading the book: The Cultural Creatives by Paul Ray and Sherry Anderson. Here's an excerpt of a conversation between a high ranking banker (he) from Rio de Janeiro and a visiting journalist (she) talking about the world economic climate as reported to the authors of the book.

"I asked my host how he saw the world economic situations from his position as one of the leading bankers in Brazil," she told us. "He said that frankly it looked as though we were all going over the edge of a cliff. "I caught my breath and asked if his colleagues felt the same way. He confirmed that they did. I asked him then whether he or they were interested in discussing alternatives. He said that there was nothing to be done. Finally, I tried one last question: How do your reconcile this inaction with the fact of being a grandfather? He turned his eyes away. "Don't ask me that," he said. "I can't bear to think about it?"

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