The Breast Blog: More Anatomy of A Female Body

During my breast-budding twelfth year, I was asked to be a bridesmaid at my brother Bob's wedding. This was to be my first foray into the land of "BIG GIRLS" and I was squirming with joy.

Our elegant, red velvet dresses were designed for a more mature figure than my training bra enhanced chest could manage so it was off to the ladies wear section of Walkers Department Store for what was to be my most exciting clothing purchase to date: a padded bra.

After months of squeezing, pushing, pulling and staring my AAA breasts into existence, I finally had the full meal deal, albethem, fake. The two deeply padded cones, securely strapped to my chest, gave me the confidence of an aristocrat and an enhanced bridesmaid's sense of duty. I danced with every person at the wedding. Besides the lovely bride, I was the junior belle of the ball.

Later that evening, slightly worse for wear due to my exuberance on the dance floor and my lack of experience with long, restrictive dresses, I stripped off my gown to discover that the right cup of my fiber enhanced figure had been poked in and was completely depressed. There was no way of telling how long I'd been a one boob, whirling dervish. Embarrassment washed over me.

What did I learn from this? For starters, and despite the manufacturers claims, artificial body parts were not to be fully trusted. But more importantly, I realized I need to keep an eye on my breasts, no matter no matter how great the dance music is.

Let's teach our girls about their bodies.

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