The Breast Blog: Nipple(s) of Mass Distraction

I don't own a television so the only way I clue into upcoming, televised momentous events is from plugged in friends or by reading a mention in the Globe and Mail. The upcoming Super Bawl caught my eye this morning. Not surprising, Janet's malfunctioning breast cover is already being rehashed by worried organizers.

Given the extent of moral degradation and corruption that rippled through the U.S. from one nipple, flashed for a split second, by one woman I can understand why the boys are in a knot. What pray tell would two nipples get us? And given the sheer number of nipples just waiting for their fifteen minutes of fame coupled with the shoddy workmanship going on in so much of the garment industry, we could be poised to witness a mass display of naughty nipples of every age, size and colour.

I can see it now. Millions of men, held hostage, in front of their boob tubes, pinned in their lazy boys by millions of exposed Super Areolas. Unable to flick the channel or blink their eye lids, the guys are rendered passive and totally mesmerized.

Gee, when I put it that way, it doesn't sound like such a bad outcome.

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